Week Nineteen - McDonald's Monopoly

It only comes around once a year. Masses of fast-food customers nationwide, as if in a trance, purchase very specific food and drink items in great quantities, although they aren’t interested at all in the taste. They have been captivated by the allure of McDonald’s Monopoly, the most ticklish sweepstakes advertising promotion ever created.

Recently the Tickle City O’-The Week Award Committee has been scouring the country for rare pieces, and devouring an outrageous amount of Big Macs, Southern Style Chicken Sandwiches, Large Fries, and Medium and Large Premium Roast Coffees (excluding Iced Coffee and Specialty Coffee Beverages) along the way.

At times the process has been frustrating. After racking up four Baltic Avenues in one trip, for example, the Committee almost gave up hope. However, an Instant win medium fries peeled from the next large drink provided renewed optimism. But this was not the end of the bumpy Monopoly ride. After placing an order at a McDonald’s in Waukesha, Wisconsin over the weekend, the Committee looked on in horror: its large fountain drink cup did not have any game pieces. An anxious conversation with the restaurant manager thankfully revealed that an employee had simply mistakenly stocked the wrong cups, and the missing game pieces were gladly given.

Now the Committee is planning a trip to the Marshalltown, Iowa Foot Locker to put its 25% Guaranteed Bonus game piece towards some ticklish kicks. And the search is on for Tennessee Avenue, Water Works, Ventnor Avenue, Short Line and the other “rare” pieces (the rare piece is always the last one alphabetically in the group, Boardwalk being the only exception as it is the last piece on the game board).

The Tickle City O’-The Week Award Committee has attended numerous meetings and presentations, and has been in constant communication with its associates about hot tips and monopoly strategy. The Committee is being very careful to keep everything legal though, after learning about the 2001 scam in which Jerome Jacobson, an employee for the company in charge of distributing the game pieces for McDonald’s, was caught passing along the winning pieces to friends, a maneuver he had been doing for several years. Jacobson and associates collected $24 million salary, but landed on Go to Jail in October 2003, and they were not just visiting.

The Tickle City O’-The Week Award Committee is now planning a trip to McDonald’s for breakfast, where it will order three hash browns and a medium coffee for a very cost-effective eight game pieces. McDonald’s Monopoly, you are tickle city!

Week Seventeen - Return of the Viking Age

The Vikings were a truly amazing group of explorers, warriors and beard-wearers, their famed longships having travelled east far into the Roman empire and Kiev as well as westward to Greenland and Newfoundland. They really burst onto the scene in 793 with a raid and subsequent brutal tickling of the monastery of Lindisfarne, as a representative from the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle reported to the Tickle City O’-The Week Award Committee: “In this year fierce, foreboding omens came over the land of Northumbria. There were excessive whirlwinds, lightning storms and fiery dragons were seen flying in the sky. These signs were followed by great famine, and on January 8th the ravaging of heathen men destroyed God’s church at Lindesfarne.”

The Viking Age proceeded to be a great time for seafaring, plundering, mead drinking and having names like Thorbjorn Oxen-Might, Hallbjorn Half-Troll, Sweyn Forkbeard or Hallfred the Troublesome Poet. We know the stories of heroes, great battles and hearty consumption from a combination of sources: Norse sagas, literature and Norse mythology. The vigor with which the Vikings stormed a destination, their thirst for adventure, aggressive demeanor and their extravagant feasts have drawn comparisons to events recently held at various living settlements, halls, and 916 ½ Main St. in the town of Grinnell, Iowa during the Spring and Summer of 2008.

Patrick Trollhammer Lyons remarks that he is inspired by the Viking exploits he has been reading about in Njal’s Saga and the Prose Edda: “I could see myself storming into a party in Clark Lounge in a 50 foot “knarr” Viking ship with a crew of men, wearing a elbow-and-knee length mail shirt, helmet and brandishing a breið-exi type of axe. If nothing else, I could see this letting our crew skip the line on the table if it is long.”

Benj Haggardbeard Wagman has stated he is considering putting his future plans on hold and returning to the North (Grinnell) for a chance to participate in these adventures and the great feasts that follow. Trollhammer Lyons and the Tickle City O’-The Week Award Committee are in talks about investing in many of these items, including vessels, full equipment and perhaps renovating 1014 High St. or 916 ½ Main Apt. 6 into the “Asgard Mead Hall” believing that the plunder that will surely result would more than match any start-up costs. Return of the Viking Age, you are tickle city!

Tabish O'-The Week Award - Tabish Dar

Week Fifteen - Iowa Irish Fest '08

Any reports of a ticklish musical extravaganza taking place this weekend would surely have to be referring to Lollapalooza, featuring Radiohead, Rage Against the Machine, Kanye West and a multitude of other bands across eight stages and three days in Grant Park, Chicago. Not necessarily. Those looking to get their musical taste buds tickled for a little bit cheaper than $205 for a three day pass or $80 for a day simply had to travel to Waterloo, Iowa.

For this hot summer weekend, you would have been forgiven for thinking you had traveled deep into the heart of the Emerald Isle when in reality you hadn’t strayed farther than the Lincoln Park area of downtown Waterloo. The event was Iowa Irish Fest ’08, a ticklish combination of music, dancing, food, drink and Irish culture, costing only $5 for a day pass or $10 for the entire weekend.

Big deal, you say. Probably just a group of drunk middle-aged Iowans awkwardly tapping their feet and clapping to the fiddle and guitar of a couple of average local musical groups. Not even close. Headlined by none other than the highly acclaimed band Gaelic Storm, the festival was a rare opportunity to see a great lineup of groups, including the world famous Trinity Irish Dancers, The Killdares, The Young Dubliners, Cherish the Ladies and many others, practically for free.

From 6:30 to 8pm on Opening night, Gaelic Storm enchanted the crowd at the Miller Lite stage with their typical high energy set full of rollicking pub sing-along numbers and sets of reels and jigs. Gaelic Storm first rose to prominence as the “party band” in the 1997 film Titanic. You remember, when Jack and Rose go downstairs on the ship to experience “the real party.” Since then, the group has gone on several world tours, and their 2006 album Bring Yer Wellies reached #2 on the Billboard World Chart. They have a huge fan base worldwide.

Securing Gaelic Storm for the event was a major success on the part of the Cedar Valley Irish Cultural Association and president Jim Walsh: “The Irish in Iowa have done such a fine job of melding into their communities that we felt it was time to draw them back out a bit and show them off to their neighbors and as many visitors as we could,” Walsh told the Tickle City O’-The Week Award Committee through the event website.

In addition to the music, the festival featured a wide variety of vendors offering interesting Irish clothing and cultural memorabilia for good prices. The food and drink also featured incredible deals, especially the drink tickets, just $3 for a choice between Guinness, Harp lager, Smithwick’s and several American varieties. The choices proved to be too much for event-goer Jelal Younes, who became flustered and eventually ordered a Lemonade. He then was almost chased away from the park after doing so.

Other highlights included the Tickle City O’-The Week Award Committee’s meeting Gaelic Storm frontman Patrick Murphy after the show: chatting briefly before getting Murphy to laugh uncontrollably upon seeing the Committee’s shirt, which read “Save the Ales” with a picture of a large glass of ale. Murphy eventually signed the shirt.

Attending the Iowa Irish Fest, a great fall budget move by the Tickle City O’-The Week Award Committee, has freed up funds of $195 by not attending Lollapalooza. The Committee is currently in talks about where those funds should go, with the two front-runners being baseball cards and advertising for various Tickle City O’-The Week themed events that will take place this fall.

Iowa Irish Fest ’08, you are tickle city!

Week Fourteen - Silver Surfer

The Tickle City O’-The Week Award Committee has had a lot of important business to attend to recently, resulting in such a long delay for the presentation of the award, and hereby apologizes. In the past week, the Committee has made an exploratory mission to Newton, Iowa to investigate the potential of the Cardinal Lanes bowling alley, and inconclusively ruled that it may be worth the trip any day other than amateur karaoke night. The Committee has also had to attend an Iowa Cubs game (where the home team vanquished the Brewers affiliate Nashville despite a strong performance by Tony Gwynn Jr.). Finally the Committee most recently traveled to Ames, Iowa to attend a Styx benefit concert at Ragbrai where many Grinnellians, including sports information director Ted Shultz, are riding.

Despite all of this, the Award is now back in full swing. This week marked another tough decision, as several interesting candidates slugged it out. Ticklish gatherings of Grinnell College students throughout the U.S. in cities like NYC and Chicago would have been recognized; however, the Tickle City O’-The Week Award Committee was not notified of any of the specifics. If you were present at any of these, and would like to comment on how ticklish the gathering(s) were, please contact ticklecity@gmail.com. Due to this unfortunate lack of information, the award logically goes to the next best candidate, Silver Surfer. The most ticklish of all Marvel heroes, Silver Surfer came to life when he, originally a young astronomer on the planet Zenn-La, struck a deal with the omnipotent space god to prevent the destruction of his home planet. The space god gave him a part of the power cosmic, transforming him into the ticklish hero we know today. He can enter hyperspace to exceed the speed of light on his board, and can travel through dimensional barriers. He does not need food, water, air or sleep, preferring to sustain himself by converting matter to energy.

In fact, Grinnell College Chemistry Summer MAP students, including Maya Lipert and Laura Simpson, would do wonders for their research if they decided to focus on the habits of Silver Surfer, as he can analyze and manipulate matter and energy, restructure and animate matter at will, and even transmute elements. Most of us feel a unique connection with our favorite personal items: our special baseball glove, our comfortable running shoes or our bicycles. Well Silver Surfer takes that to the next level: his surf board is mentally linked with him and moves in response to his thoughts even when he is not in contact with it. He can attack villains by directing the board against them, and can even temporarily imprison enemies inside it. Another big fan of Silver Surfer: the United States Postal Service, who in 2007 issued a $0.41 stamp of “SS” in its series honoring Marvel’s most ticklish superheroes. Silver Surfer, you are tickle city!

Indians Fans

With the award given to CC Sabathia yesterday, numerous Indians fans including Scott Koenning, Liza Spears, and others, have expressed their disappointment and displeasure, and quite understandably. The Tickle City O'-The Week Award Committee hereby offers this message of condolence and intends to further explore the implications of the trade. It's always hard to say goodbye to your popular ace, even more so when he has spent his entire career with your organization. When an exciting Verlander-Sabathia match-up abruptly changes to Verlander-Sowers and you know your reigning AL Cy Young winner is on a plane to his new home, it would be a weak Indians fan not to be angry. Koenning, upset with the news, wrote:

"Today the Brewers swooped in to capitalize on the Cleveland Indians' not so ticklish season and acquired the true hefty lefty (no disrespect to Jared Lorenzen), C.C. Sabathia. Sabathia likely would not have resigned with the Indians, and as such the Tribe's hand was essentially forced into pulling the trigger on a deal to bring in the second coming of the Brewer's own Ryan Braun, Matt LaPorta. While most see this as a lopsided deal favoring the Brewers, the reality of the situation is that the Indians have acquired a great talent for the long term while the Brewers have the services of Sabathia likely only for the duration of the season, and are unlikely to A) resign Sabathia, and B) win the World Series. This makes the winners of the deal the Cleveland Indians.

At this point you might be expecting to see "Matt LaPorta, you are tickle city!" or "Cleveland Front Office, you are tickle city!", but that would be dishonest, because in reality the Brewers have stolen maybe the best pitcher in baseball for an outfield who is currently hitting .288 in Double A ball (albeit with a somewhat ticklish 20 homers and 66 RBIs).

With that said, my relentless optimism for Cleveland sports regardless of the situation, you are tickle city!

Oh, and LeBron is definitely staying in Cleveland. Those Nets rumors are so silly."

Points well taken. It is certainly true that it will be unlikely that the Brewers can sign Sabathia or Ben Sheets after the season, so we are essentially renting CC and preparing to part ways with our own beloved ace, (prove me wrong Benny) while giving up our top prospect in the process. However, this kind of risky move, a very strong surge for the playoff birth we haven't had since 1982, is great to see and exactly the kind of thing the Brewers of old would never have done. Year after year we've been on the other end of the spectrum, trading away our top players (ex. Carlos Lee), and perpetually waiting for next year. It's definitely a risky move by the Brew Crew, but one that's being welcomed whole-heartedly by fans, and it's going to be a great playoff race. LaPorta is a great talent, although somewhat blocked in the Brewers organization, and it's good to see him go somewhere where he should be able to make a positive impact in the not distant future. Zach Jackson can pitch a bit, too, and the Brewers still have a bunch of promising young bats down in Huntsville and Nashville. As for Lebron, I think the NBA as a whole risks losing him to a career as a defense lawyer. I can't believe he still won the case without even using the documents that proved his client's innocence. CC Sabathia, prepare to tickle the Colorado Rockies!

Week Thirteen - C.C. Sabathia

There was really no other way to go this week, as the Tickle City O'-The Week Award Committee made the decision in record time. All the C's have been dotted and the T has been crossed, and reigning AL Cy Young Winner C.C. Sabathia is on his way to Milwaukee.

There is currently a big buzz around the fine state of Wisconsin, as fans are hoping the Brewers can make it to the playoffs for the first time since 1982. The Cubs, the NL's newfound big spenders and no longer the little guy with a dream, are expected to sign Rich Harden, A.J Burnett, Erik Bedard, Randy Wolf and Greg Maddux to form an unprecedented 10 man rotation and stay competitive with the Brew Crew.

The Tickle City O'-The Week Award Committee was able to meet up with Brewers manager Ned Yost for an interview, prying him away from the Mario Party video game he had been playing. "I'm very happy with the acquisition" Yost said. "C.C. is a career .300 hitter and I was impressed with his long home run during the Indians' interleague series vs. the Dodgers. I expect he will team up with Prince Fielder to form a formidable middle of the order. I understand he can pitch too, so if we benefit from that at all we will consider it a bonus."

C.C., all of us here at the Tickle City O'-The Week Award welcome you to Wisconsin. C.C. Sabathia, you are tickle city!

Pickle City O'-The Week Award - Mt. Olive Polish Dill Spears

Facing stiff competition from Vlasic, Claussen, and other brands, Mt. Olive emerged to claim the coveted Pickle City O'-The Week Award given out this morning. Mt. Olive Pickle Company, located in North Carolina, dominates the Southeastern United States, with a market share of 70 percent. In additon to offering ticklish pickles, relish and other products, Mt. Olive also is famous for holding special events, most notably the New Year's Eve Pickle Drop where a "glowing green 10-foot-high pickle is lowered to the earth at 7pm local time." The event, which made its debut in 1999, "has turned into an annual occurrence and a source of pride for the (North Carolina) community."

Specifically, the Polish variety is prepared using natural fermentation in a salty brine, which turns the pickle sour. There is no vinegar used in the brine of ogórki kiszone, or Polish pickle, and they are traditionally used as a side dish to Vodka. The Mt. Olive Polish Dill Spear is the perfect flavor to accompany your five to eight shots of Premium Triple Distilled Smirnoff beverage. Mt. Olive Polish Dill Spears, you are pickle city!

Week Two - Benj Wagman

For many, Spring Break means living pretty easy: a comfortable flight to an exotic destination, lavish hotel resorts, luxury cruises, pools and posh restaurants. A fun time, undoubtedly, but not necessarily the right way to do it.

Enter Benj Wagman. Armed with only a bike, a tent, a few refreshments and a thirst for adventure, Benj set off on an epic journey spanning the deep South. It began in Memphis, sleeping on the mean streets outside the train station amid gunfire and screams. From there, the Amtrack brought Benj and his companion Dreas down to New Orleans, where the real journey began.

They biked over 5 days and over 500 miles, eventually ending up in Tupelo, Mississippi. They didn't spend a cent on lodging, preferring to go into the woods and pitch a tent, "taking back the land" as Benj likes to say. They met cajuns and dabbled in the local cuisine, one of the highlights being venison burgers with local country folk. For Benj, one day's dessert consisted of 27 chips ahoy cookies, and as he explains, "I only stopped because I finished the box." This is the kind of spirit that characterized the trip, a journey that was "full of life" and great respite from the tundra of Grinnell.

Outside the town of St. Francisville, Louisiana, the simple words "I got that Moonshine" uttered by resident "KD" lead to an enjoyable afternoon back at his residence with his family. Activities included bumpin' music, a casual kickball game with local kids and of course a taste of the promised moonshine.

Now back in Grinnell, Benj looks back very fondly on the amazing venture. So next time you're in Cancun, lying on the beach, enjoying an unlimited drink special or trying to drag a half-conscious Iowa State girl back to your hotel room, just remember: you don't have anything on the Spring Break of Benj Wagman.
Benj, you are tickle city!

Week One - Tampa, Florida

The Tickle City O'-The-Week Award can be given to any person, group or thing that's really made a great impact within the past week. But in an ironic twist, the inaugural Tickle City O-The-Week Award goes to.... an actual US City, Tampa, Florida.

No, I'm not predicting the Rays (not Devil Rays) to do anything big this season, and I'm definitely not awarding it for being anything special as a harbor or estuary. But there was something in the Tampa air this Friday that was enough to inject life into a somewhat dull NCAA Tournament. Something that caused four big upsets in the four games that were played in Tampa. Tampa gave UConn a stern reminder that it is no longer 2004, gave us a wild buzzer-beater to end Drake's run and gave a pair of 12s and 13s from the Midwest Region a great chance to reach the Sweet 16.

After the first day, we were all wondering if we were in for another tournament like last year: minimal upsets and no real surprises. Thankfully, Tampa, Florida would never let that happen, and that's precisely the moment it stepped in and ensured there would be drama and last-second excitement for this year's March Madness.
Tampa, Florida, you are Tickle City!

Mission Statement

Well here it is, my entry into the blog world. I've decided against a mundane recap of the goins-on in my personal life, and instead have chosen to award the person, group or thing that's been the most ticklish in the last week. I hope that with time, the award will gain prestige and that one day it will be recognized and respected nationwide. So here we go, the Tickle City O'-The-Week. Did you do something awesome in the last seven days? Chances are, I noticed, so it could be you!